Can you get high on music and avoid all the bad side effects from coffee? Can music alert your brain waves so that you literally can focus better and get things donein half of the time?
I took a journey down the rabbit hole just a few days ago and the results have been so stunning that I decided to write a blog post about it.
It all started with a lunch with my colleague Hani who said she has something special I might want to try... (nope, she's not a drug dealer, you would get a death penalty for this here in Malaysia :).
She told me about music that works just like coffee -- you have more energy and you can focus better, but it doesn't have bad side effects. Just put in the headphones while you're working and enjoy the vibe!
Decided to try it and the effect was amazing! Just finished listening to one of the tracks and my brain literally vibrates.
It's a strange feeling of being high (yeah, like a bit drunk) and alert combined with focused and productive. The music is all about slowly accelerating your brainwaves, literally getting inside your head *I hope they haven't hidden any nasty sales messages into it...just kidding:)
I had my friends trying it out as well and surprisingly all of them had a slightly different effect -- but all felt high in one way or the other. Here's what one of them wrote me:
"When I started listening to is at first it didn't really do much, but when I was half way into the first part I started getting really hyper from it.
After I was done listening to all of it, I couldn't even stand still and it took me a while to calm down. I also had my friend listen to it and she said that the whole room started spinning when she was almost done listening to it."
Really cool stuff. I got so many questions about it, so I finally tracked down the company and discovered that you can actually try it for free. It's called BrainSync Brainwave Therapy and I was listening to a track called High Focus. I also tried Super Learning -- loved both of them. Not sure which tracks are offered for free on the website, but try it anyway, it also might be worth in investing a few bucks to buy the actual track.
It's freaking hot in my room. There seem to be something wrong with my air conditioner, just turned it to 14 degrees -- but nothing, I'm melting together with the mint chocolate I'm eating.
It's Friday evening and I'm at home with not a slightest desire to go out. I'm sorry for this random intro, btw, what do you expect -- I'm hot, sleepy and inspired at the same time.
Anyway I'm inspired by the new opportunities of technology. Just finished reading couple of cool blog postings and articles about brain research and gifted children -- some of the topics I'm really into these days.
What inspired me was the way how I found them. Not by browsing hundreds of Google sites, trying to track down the freshest and best quality content, but by having Google Alerts do all the work for me and just choosing the best articles from a list provided by this tool.
Google Alerts is an awesome tool to be updated with the freshest knowledge about whatever interests you. Just type in the keyword you're interested in -- and you start receiving daily or weekly updates with the materials that have been uploaded in internet the same day and that include these keywords.
It's amazing - you really stay on top of the field of your interest. You can also track what is being written about yourself or your company. Brilliant, just started to use it this week.
Yeah, chose this time a negative headline - and for purpose. I really think it's so common to ignore and so easy to overlook that easy truth what I want to share, though it's making so many of us less as individuals -- and could be turned into a benefit so easily.
So here it is, one of the most powerful ideas I've recently picked up, this time from one of the great trainings from Mike, one of the owners of MindValley.
The law is simple -- each and every broken commitment decreases your personal power.
The whole pile of things you know you should do, but are for whatever reason not doing makes you weak, it literally drains your personal power. All the broken commitments -- be them for others or for yourself -- decrease your personal power.
And it also works the other way around - the way to become a more powerful individual is to follow through. Simply said - by doing what you said you would do. Again - doesn't matter if you said it to yourself and nobody else knows -- or declared it you publicly, the effect is the same. You WILL become a more powerful person if you just keep doing the things that you are committed to do.
The bottom line here is -- choose your commitments carefully. Even the smallest promise -- I'll write to you, I'll send you these materials, I call you, I get it done -- tie you automatically with a source of energy. If you don't follow through -- you lose energy, if you do -- you gain more.
And don't misunderstand me here -- I don't think we should take on less tasks. Quite the opposite - we should at all costs strive for taking on more and more tasks, that's the true contribution to the world and the source of meaningful living. So the answer is not to isolate yourself from all the exciting opportunities in the world and become a bad friend who never returns a favor, but -- become a more productive person instead (isn't it simple:)?)
These are the reflections while "cleaning my own house" and removing the energy vampires from my own life. Kind of stupid to keep losing your personal power to really minor undone tasks -- better to clean the house quickly and keep growing.
After a small break I'm full of irresistible need to express myself (is it the coffee or the great Skype conversation I just had with Siim? Probably both...)
It's a quick story I want to share about creating your reality. Well - I'm a believer. I think we get everything we want. So there's nothing else more powerful than a thought -- it creates your moment.
And how often do we really recognise - wuuuhuu, it's exactly what I wanted? I am where I am now because I wanted it, would it be good or bad.
Well, recently I was walking a dirty street of Kuala Lumpur. Smelly, hot, crowded, colorful -- somehow messy. And I felt so comfortable, so alive. Why?
Because this is exactly what I wanted. Already when I was 10 years old, reading Jules Werne stories and dreaming about adventures. When I was 15 and dreamed about becoming a missionaire in Africa (yes, I come from a Christian family -- though have turned out as rather a spiritual person, not taking strong stand for nor against God, but striving for stronger connection with whatever higher powers we all have).
There's a pattern in everything we experience, reality is not an accident.
Another boost of dreams coming true was this weekend when me and my friends made a trip to Tioman, one of the Malaysian paradise islands. As part of the trip we went snorkeling around a small coral cliff. If some of you have seen an old movie "Blue Lagoon" with Brooke Shields then you might remember the scene where a little baby is swimming around in the blue water.
I didn't even know I had this image stuck in my subconscious mind till me and Maru got into the water and I just looked at this 5-year old kid swimming around in the blue sea, above beautiful corals and surrounded by colorful fishes (and one small sting ray down there...). It was beautiful, I was amazed and thrilled that this moment is truly real.
Snorkeling with my 5-year old son was not an accident. It was a thought coming true -- and when you think about it -- it's freaking powerful. I wanted that even before moving to Malaysia, before knowing that I'll be a mother that early and before thinking for a while that being a young single mother defines your reality more than your own thoughts.
It's beautiful and absolutely incredible to see how thoughts become your reality. I have a quote written on my wall: "Your dominant thought becomes your reality." Makes you responsible, doesn'it it? And confident that you really can get whatever you want - just keep stretching.
PS: A bunch of my close friends opened recently an ecotourism company, organizing unique trips for small groups to Kasakhstan and Croatia. They're having fun while travelling back to the countries they love and have created a huge network among locals -- and building a company in the process. Brilliant! Check it out if you're rather an adventure traveller and want to feel the country even without thorough preparation and spending too much time on the spot - http://reisidvabadusse.ee/
PPS: I promise to start posting again to my video blog -- latest next week. I was facing a small setback when my external drive didn't work and all my videos were gone -- but who cares, really? Yeah, I'll restarts, making videos is quite fun:)
PPPS: Estonians - you can read a small something about my everyday adventures in this article for Meie Maa. My Saaremaa identity never quite dies :)
There’s no better inspiration for me than getting things done. And I mean - things done. Getting things done is not being busy, no, no. It means that you have a result in the end.
Result for me is an additional value to the world. In order to get something done you need to create something.
Some days are just busy. There’s a lot what needs to be done and so you do it. In my specific case - costumer support, facilitating communication, writing e-mails and at this point of time transitioning a business to a new person. None of it could be left undone.
Yet it doesn’t give me the real satisfaction - and it’s honestly quite strange how long it took me to come to this simple realization.
I’m simply NOT HAPPY when I’m busy with necessary things only, but yet don’t get things done. Because as I said - getting things done for me is creating an extra value.
This means I always need to know what’s the extra value I want to create. It can be some improvement in the business, innovation around the product, improving some concrete parts of my character, start building a new business -- whatever interests me.
The added value has to become a goal and only then I can be happy.
So in the busiest days I always have a sense of urgency in the back side of my brain that pushes me to get this done as fast as I can, because I can’t be happy before I haven’t taken - each and every single day - some time to create extra value to the world. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night with this urgency in my head - damn, I didn’t really achieve anything today, I was just busy.
Last time was before one product launch - the whole day was just crazy busy that in the evening I dropped in the bed - so tired - that I fell asleep straight away. I woke up around midnight with a nagging feeling - I didn’t get done the most important thing I wanted to get done that day, which was sending out one e-mail to a newsletter. It took me 20 min to get it done and go to sleep peacefully. The next day this e-mail only brought in $ 30 000 -- and I felt I’ve achieved.
You know - there’s nothing compared to the feeling of success, this simply makes you fly and want even bigger things. So being busy doesn’t count a thing - as long as it’s just doing the things you need to do anyway.
And I don’t really want that. I simply want to be happy. And I believe we human are creators and we have a fundamental need to use this creative potential. Fooling us into being busy is just cutting us off from the real source of happiness.
After I chose to become more productive I’m still not productive enough. I’m still spending too much time on things that should take me 5 minutes. I’m simply overthinking some simple tasks that shouldn’t require too much of my brain potential -- so it doesn’t leave me enough time to innovate around the things that truly matter.
I’m determined to make the effort to speed up -- because I want to slow down. The only way to achieve your dreams is to walk the extra mile and be willing to get out of your laziness. I think being busy is an illusion we’re often creating us and lack of goals is the biggest barrier on the way to happiness.
So this posting is for living a rich and fulfilled life, let’s go:)
PS: I'm not quite sure what impression my quickly made videos really leave, so if you want to drop some comments - oh, really, I'd be happy:) Check out my Malaysia video-blog here my30daytrial.blogspot.com
This is such a beautiful thought that I have to share it with you. Found it from my late time favorite daily inspirations in my mailbox -http://www.tut.com/notes/ - they have a pretty alternative approach on personal development, but the messages really work for me.
So here's the thought:
Worry and time have an inverse relationship. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other. Yet curiously, Marjam, both are suspended when you live in the now.
As you were, The Universe
I 100% believe that you get everything you want if you put your thought on it. I usually get exactly those inspirational thoughts through a few mailing lists I'm signed up to that I need at this moment. It's pretty strange, actually, but if I have a question and I log in my personal mailbox, I often sense that the right inspiration might be in one of the mailings -- and it often is.
Yes, I've been recently making one video every day, from local gyms sauna, standing in the heavy rainfall to eating with my fingers. Why? Well, it all comes down to a 30-day challenge I gave myself (you can skip the rest and just check out the projects web page here my30daytrial.blogspot.com).
My quest this year is to increase my Productivity. Many times I'm not happy with how much time I'm spending on getting some things done. I feel I have more ideas than I'm able to execute and -- I want to speed up to get more of them done.
SPEED UP! Not by lowering standards, becoming a workaholic, living an unbalanced life.
No, I want it all -- the fulfilled life and fulfilled dreams -- and fulfilled potential.
Time to face the mirror and focus on some part of my path to get it aligned with my dreams.
Quite bluntly -- I feel I'm starting all over again every day. I'm a beginner, just learning to live, learning and learning and learning (called the beginners mind -- helps me to keep my mind fresh and notice opportunities).
I've come to the conclusion that self analysis isn't the most effective way for me to get results (it can rather become an paralysis of analysis), I need action to learn about myself -- and this is what I'm going to learn through.
Increasing your productivity is the key to live the life you desire. I'm looking for shortcuts, better methods, good mental practices, self discipline, knowledge -- everything I can find to increase the amount of things I get done every day.
And I told you -- I am in the beginning. The best people get things done with such a pace and ease that it blows me away. Some people in MindValley are just taking my breath away -- how the heck are they doing this? But then again - if they can, why can't I? Yes, indeed, why not...
To kick my ass about productivity I started a new blog where I'm sharing about my 30 day trials on productivity. The first trial is connecting my passion for different forms of communication and desire to deepen my learning experience in Malaysia -- I'm shooting one video every day with one lesson I learned that day. The bottom line, however is to get the video done, edit it and upload it in the blog with max 20 minutes. Right now it takes 30-40 minutes and I can do a lot to increase the quality, we'll see what's the state after 30 days.
So if you're interested in life in Malaysia and productivity in general check out my new blog my30daytrial.blogspot.com
If there's one thing I really dislike then it's not walking your talk. I feel down when I'm not meeting my own words and I lose interest when other people don't reflect their words with their actions.
How often have you had a conversation where all sides know exactly what's the RIGHT way to do things, so the whole onversation becomes quickly just repeating: "Yeah, I know that." "Yes, exactly." etc.
No learning for any side, but far too often the smart words are just a nice cover up for inaction. Knowing something doesn't automatically mean that you know how to implement it -- and implementation is the part where things get exciting and often more complex when you thought.
Living in an age of information there's just too much theory lying around, so I think one of the most important skills to learn is to know how to simplify your life. And honestly quite often life gets easier once you start trying out the things you already know -- too much theory without any action might get you confused, but action gets you busy. So as long as you're choosing smartly what to get busy with you're bound to have much more clarity.
Without underestimating the importance of reflection and meditation I honestly think that there can be no innovation, creativity, satisfaction, clear goals and life purpose without proper action.
Here's a peak into the learning expert Maru's opinion about learning (unfortunately in Estonian, but funny anyway:):
I want you to want me -- is an absolutely beautiful video about what people are looking for in online dating databases, presented in a most fascinating way.
What are the most important things that people want to say about them in their dating profiles? What do they want? Who they are?
This art project presents some of the common traits of all humans in an almost touching way -- while also presenting quite an astonishing peak into a future possibilities of data representation.
I don't like wasting time. In fact -- most of the meetings make me impatient. Most of the small talk makes me bored. I love working and getting things done. I feel I'm failing when I don't know how to do something and it slows me down -- so I get even more determined to get it done. I don't like tasks that don't have a point -- or at least I don't know what it is. And to be successful I need to know what's the big picture.
I use the same logic when raising Maru -- I also don't like when Maru wastes my time. I want him to learn to make proposals instead of wining. I want him to be responsible for his own stuff so I don't have to worry about it.
I might be sometimes seem a bit harsh, but I think it'll pay off in the end of the day -- everybody has more free time and everybody is free to arrange their life however pleases them more.
Today we had an agreement with Maru -- when we get home from work he can go swimming, but later he'll organize his drawer. Agreed. Before he started to work I told him to organize the drawer however he wants' because he's now 5 years old and knows better how he likes his things to be orgnized.
Result -- in fact, quite surprising. It took him 5 minutes to clean the drawer, no complaining at all and things were arranged in a totally new system. I had taught him the classical system for the last 3 years -- put pants, shirts, socks etc together.
What he did? Well, in less than 5 min he replaced the whole system with a new one. When I went to check the final result he produly introduced me: "So here are all the red things, here are blue ones, here are green ones and here I put yellow and orange."
Wow! I had to swallow my first reaction to recommend him to change this and that, comes so automatically to go back to status quo, doesn't it? But I truly think that empowering people around you -- including your kids, friends, co-workers etc is the way to happiness.
I really don't want to worry about things that other people should and want to worry about.
Why is it so freaking important to know who you are?
Well, quite simply put -- because others know even less about you. So there's no way they are going to be better than YOU in guiding you in your way.
You can learn tons from other people, you can be mentored, coached, consulted and educated, but nobody knows better what you really need and want.
So don't rely on other people, take full responsibility of where you are and where you're going.
However most probably once you really start to stretch yourself you'll meet some obstacles that make achieving a bit more tricky than you thought. Theory is nice, but heroes are born in practice (or that's what I think at least).
Here are a few principles that have been guiding me through times when the challenge takes me near my current limits.
1) Always have a vision of where you're going
This helps you to get through the tough times. Truth is - life is always not easy, sometimes it totally puts you down, you don't get the right words at the right time from the people around you and you might start doubting yourself. Your vision keeps you on the right track and short-lived events fade out quickly.
2) Don't take critics personally, even if it gets personal
When things get hard I usually tell myself: "Well, actually everybody wants me to succeed." This little thought puts my focus back in the right place and I start taking support out of even the toughest critics. So keep your emotions for your lover and use the critics as a positive energy.
3) Act as if
If you screw up -- you screw up, what to do. Don't let your head fall as a result. Say you're sorry and move on. If someone looks at you as if you're failing -- look at your vision and act as if you'd be that person already. Always, always, always act as the best in you, doesn't matter what's the current reality. Doesn't matter if your co-workers, boss, mother or teamleader have discovered your unique talents -- you know what you've got and sooner or later you're going to shine.
4) Don't daydream, focus on getting things done
All that positive self talk is good, but it doesn't mean much if you don't bring results. There's no better kick than the feeling of succeeding -- and you get it quite easily by achieving those things that you planned for this day. Yep, this day -- your life is made out of those, so a day means much more than a year. So you need to be getting the small shots of adrenalin from little successes, this is the base of a deep rooted self confidence.
When I feel I'm lacking focus I usually go swimming -- and swim until I see nothing more than the small spot on the other side of the pool. Once I get my mind so focused that I have only one thought -- that spot -- I know I can be the same the next day in the office, only this time my spot is my to-do list.
5) Keep moving
The bottom line really is -- you know the best what is good for you. So move towards it, don't get distracted from setbacks and never ever lose your belief that you're going to succeed big time. I mean -- if this is what you want and you work for that, magic happens. But nobody else can believe in yourself instead of you.
PS: I got my official working permit in Malaysia, so I'm now once again an honest citizen and a tax payer.
It's 5 PM in Malaysia today, I'm walking down the street to pick up my kid from the kindergarten. Normal day - passing the shops, ignoring the whistling of local workers, enjoy the sunshine and feel with every cell: "Today is my lucky day (if I was a horse even my hooves would be smiling - W-I-D-E)!"
Life is such an adventure that you don't even need Malaysia to make your head spin (though I admit - it does add some extra spice to everything).
Here comes 2009, already turning out exactly the way I wanted it to -- and yet making me watching it coming with my jaw dropped open in surprise.
Today was the first official meeting of project Gifted - short as hell and yet leaving me with a overwhelming excitement about the coming year. Project Gifted is actually a new sister-company of MindValley, started by MindValley founders Mike-Vishen and a third mastermind - Melissa, my soon-to-be direct boss from US, amazing entrepreneur and mother of 2 girls.
It's thoroughly dedicated to ensure that future generations wouldn't lose their genius abilities such as natural curiosity, creativity, intuition and many other things that get lost in the system (yeah, I know, I've cursed the education system many times before, won't start here again). We're starting with a documentary together with Gary Goldstein and are already hiring new people to grow fast in 2009 into a leading internet business in our field.
And the whole thing starts right now, in January, a few months after I was hired to MindValley. What would be the odds? As a single mother crazy about human development, learning and education I couldn't imagine a better place for me.
So until April when MindValley moves to the new office I'm sharing my time between Gifted and MindValley and after this stay working with a small team in the current MindValley office. My role reminds me pretty much the things I was doing as MCP in AIESEC Estonia, with the difference it's focused on education, it's based in an unknown country and the membership is OUT THERE in internet.
So it is - life takes you to places where you want to go, ready or not:)
Revisiting my main professional goal for 2009 - it's simply to become one hell of an internet marketer focused specifically on education.
Yeah, I'm just awed today, so reporting about the details of my work a bit later.
I got tricked today into giving out 400 ringgit (around 85 EURO) from my pocket -- which was terribly empty already before this act beyond all explanations.
Before you pity me or lose your faith in my ability to manage my finances take a few minutes to read what happened -- and you'll most probably learn a good deal about closing your sales on a rather marketing-resistant well-educated crowd like me.
Hold your breath, I'm about the say something that I've been waiting myself to say in the past 1..no 2, ok - 4 YEARS!
Here goes:
I SIGNED UP FOR A GYM!
(Haha, what did you expect? After 4 years in AIESEC it's a HUGE step for me -- love the organization, but I never had time or money to really do workout)
So I gave out the money and I had no intention of doing it today.
And here goes the 6-step magical sales formula that you can use in your own business - whatever that would be - proved to work on an absolutely broke fresh graduate who loves picking up marketing strategies before they get her off guard.
1. Build a desire - offer a free sample
A gorgeous looking oh-so-popular dance class trainer makes an innocent comment in the end of a fabulous training: "Guys, love making the dance classes with you, but the more people, the more fun. Grab a friend of yours and get her to my dancing class. Don't worry, she doesn't have to pay, just say downstairs you're to Luciano's class and everything's cool."
So, I get an invitation from my roommate - let's go dancing, no charges, great crowd!
2. Get personal
When I arrived to the gym, I had a nice lady greeting me and arranging a meeting after the workout.
Sure I'd meet the lady, I had got the freaking free training -- would be rude to say no, right? And anyway I knew I wouldn't sign up before my next payday.
3. Make it look formal
Don't just sit down with a potential costumer, grab a formal looking form to fill - write down the name, birthday, sex - anything. Seeing this data appearing on the paper works like magic - you feel committed without having a clue why and to what.
4. Freak them out with the price -- and then send to heaven with a special offer
Now use the same form you just filled with the name and other irrelevant data -- to draw the price on it. Yeah, make it visual - this much for registration, this much for one month, this for prepayment and this for whatever comes to your mind. As long as the end-results makes your costumer wanna run away screaming: "IIIIIIKKKK!" you're on the right track.
AND THEN - come out with your special offer. "Just today we have a special offer. It's almost over and tomorrow we're back to our normal price. You don't have to pay the registration fee, the monthly fee is 1/4 smaller for you etc etc - sooooo (oh, I know what's coming!!) - you only have to pay this price if you decide TODAY."
PS: Scarcity makes your costumer WANNA - right now!
5. Make them feel special
It's no surprise that you don't carry around money nor credit cards after it's dark in KL (the naivety of freshly arrived Estonians is kicked out early enough by everyday robbers on the night street ;). So sure you don't assume the money is gonna come now - but the offer ends today. Wiish, what to do now?
Well, you get the costumer feeling special by going to the management and asking if the costumer could pay the next day. Not important if the management is an imaginary creature with a magic stick or a real-time workaholic sitting in the office after 11 PM -- works just fine in both cases.
Just make sure your costumer is busy in filling in the the contract while you're talking with the VIP on the cloud....
6. Get commitment - any kind of commitment is good
So contract signed, but no money on the table. Not good, how do you know your costumer walks back the other day with cash in their pocket?
Easy - make them commit with something so small almost not worth mentioning. In my case - deposit a small amount of money, MYR 10 (2 EURO) is absolutely fine. Who wants to lose their money for nothing? Not a broke me, believe me -- as well as most of the people, rich or poor.
SALES MADE AND DEAL CLOSED! Brilliant, 10 points for Celebrity Fitness and the lovely innocent looking Chinese girl!
But wait, there's something more about it. I have to correct myself - I wasn't actually tricked into anything and the sales was made even before me or the Chinese girl knew about it.
It's something that the kick-ass internet marketing maniac Frank Kern calls "effortless influencing" -- talking from your core identity to the buyer core identity. I assume the fine-looking lady had a thing with fitness - and I had a deeply rooted decision to get my healthy lifestyle something so routine not even worth mentioning.
I have 3 bigger goals for 2009, one of them is to help the gorgeous looking babe hiding under my skin to come out in the daylight, haha. Ok, forget about the wording, but I will be in my top-shape by the end of this year.
Not so hard to sell me a sign-up for gym, don't you think? That's why it's so important to know your market and hit the thought on top of their brains - they'll fall for you, head over heels, savaging the bank doors if that's needed to get what they REALLY want deep down.
On a personal note - my dear future boyfriend, today is your lucky today, Marjam just got signed up for the gym!
I think that most people how no clue how to learn. Honestly - when it comes to mastering new techniques and adapting changes, they -- well, suck. So they come up with lot of nice excuses to make their incompetence socially acceptable.
"I know that already." (in many cases - yeah, right...) "I don't know how to do that." (and so...?) "I've never been good at this." (time for a change, maybe?) "I don't have any talent for this." (talent? khmm...)
Seems that the school system taught us to learn mainly for teacher or the grade -- and we're so deeply in that habit of thinking that we can't let go even when we're free to do so.
But the world doesn't wait. As long as you bury your energy into hiding your incompetence you'll never catch up. Someone who learns quicker will always eat the cream and you'll always have a nagging sound in the back side of your brain: "You're not really good enough."
It's just something I quickly picked from the webpage I'm currently managing FinerMinds.com, but there's so much more. The bottom line is - there are no excuses in not learning new things with ease. You can, no doubt about it.
As I'm fortunate enough to share this part of my life with the Grandmaster of learning - my 5-year old son - I'm learning so much about LEARNING almost every day. Kids don't question if they can or not - if they like it they do it.
When I look at my 5-year old Maru I'm just fascinated by the way he learns -- and how easily I can screw up his natural learning process. You see - kids are like sponges, they naturally suck in the information, without over analyzing it. They learn what they like and they master with a super-speed.
It's amazing actually. Maru learned how to swim in less than a week.
A WEEK! How many grown ups you know who can't swim? Why, I ask? Are they less competent than a 5-year old kid? Nope, there's something else going on.
So looking into the way how kids learn you can boost up your own learning process - because after all we're all humans and though we lost much of our abilities in the school system we can reverse the process with some conscious practicing.
So I'm learning tons from Maru. Want to know how he picked up the swimming skill so fast?
Here's what happened. We arrived to Malaysia and though Maru loved water he had no clue how to swim. Seriously - he was splashing around in kids pool, loving it, but never making a serious effort to swim. In fact he didn't want to practice or the even remove the swimming west -- he actually resisted my attempts to teach him. If you want to know - sometimes I was internally pissed off -- I wanted to teach him, but he DIDN'T WANT TO LEARN.
This assumption is 100% WRONG.
Kids love learning. What really happened was that I didn't BELIEVE that he could swim. I assumed he needs teaching -- and of course I had my own understanding of how the process should look like.
The truth is that people don't need to be taught. They want to learn. It's kind of as assuming that they already know everything they need to know and all you need to do is to support the process.
So once I discovered my own dangerous assumption I changed it immediately: "He loves swimming. All I need to do is support his curiosity."
Now here's the most powerful conclusion I made -- and I guess this is the main reason why Maru started to swim that quickly.
Here it is, simple as hell - learning is based on curiosity.
Once something interests you - woohooo, you have just discovered your 5* highway to the mastery! Go with your natural interest, let go of the expectations of how you SHOULD learn it - and believe it or not, but you start improving with unbelievable speed.
So once I didn't teach him anymore, but just helped him to do what he enjoyed - the progress was visible in hours. No time expectations, no understanding how quickly everything should happen - just being there to support the process - floating around in the big pool with my arms supporting him, just having fun and encouraging him to challenge himself more.
Now once you know that curiosity boosts your learning, there are only a few simple things to remember to speed up your own learning:
1. Notice your interests 2. Feed your interest with the right activities 3. Enjoy the progress
Th same applies for coaching and raising kids - the natural curiosity is the best indicator of the greatest growth. Just feed it -- and you've hit the gold mine.
I think for basics that's more than a good start. Seriously - if you would know how much this simple conclusion has helped me to stay focused while working in MindValley you'd be amazed. Noticing your interests and letting them flow is the single most truth about succeeding I've picked up.
You know when you sometimes say something else what you really meant to say? Example call your friend with someone else name or just drop a out-of-the-context word in the middle of the sentence.
Then of course you quickly correct yourself and seemingly it was just a slip of your tongue, a stupid mistake, nothing more.
Well, a friend of mine introduced me to an interesting concept of a Freudian slip. This simply means that people never say anything accidentally or out of the blue -- there's always some subconscious thinking process going on in the background, so what we say just reflects what we're really thinking about.
Is this true? Who knows, but once you start thinking about it -- you soon start noticing some pretty interesting stuff going on.
A colleague of mine sent yesterday an SMS to her friend who's been trying to pick her up some time. A casual SMS to a good friend saying: "How have you been?"
Well, that's what is was supposed to say. In reality she sent over some spicy stuff saying: "How hard you been?"
Ooops...mr. Freud wouldn't have too much of a trouble explaining this one :)
I'm working from Starbucks today, internet here is far faster than at home. Today it's a national holiday here in Malaysia and nobody is in the office. I had my holidays during Christmas when large part of malais was working - 60% of the population is Muslim and only 10% Christian, so Christmas here is visible mainly in shopping malls.
Starbucks has somehow a special atmosphere which makes it really easy to focus, even though I'm surrounded by so many people.
Sitting here today, composing a newsletter, checking new applications to MindValley and filling my notebook with new ideas that pop up I'm filled with gratitude.
I've discovered that expressing your gratitude is one of the most powerful shortcuts to happiness, so I let myself just be filled with it.
I'm immensely grateful for the:
huge diversity around me - different nationalities, races and people at all ages, who look so relaxed and happy. I love the diversity in this country.
for finally living a "normal" life with Maru and having a better routine for him - I can take time to learn together with him and I feel our relationsship moving to a new level
for most exciting challenges waiting for me in 2009 - I can't wait to start working with the new education project Gifted. I'm thrilled by the idea that I can be part of building a new pre-school education program and start something great in the area that I see as my life mission. Never hoped to get so directly connected with the education area through MindValley, but right things just keep happening.
for Maru who learned how to swim and dive - helping your child to swim without pressuring him in any direction was such a profound lessons about how kids learn. I learned so much about natural flow of learning and building on the natural curiosity of the learner
for having most fun and smart colleagues whom I can really rely on and who walk the extra mile even when things are not always 100% perfect. I love the teamwork in MindValley and I feel so motivated to do more than is expected from me
for my "bosses" who are real rolemodels for me, I'm fully grateful to have a chance to learn from the best people in business and be challenged by expectations that make me stretch a lot
for having great friends in Estonia and other places in the world - I feel so much connected with them even though I've moved away so far. Had a chat yesterday with one amazing person and a close friend who's first son was born at Christmas Eve. I'm so happy to share these moments
for being in the flow when I work with the things that truly excite me and talking with people with whom I have click-match
for a new exciting web-project I'm building with one of the click-match people from Estonia - love being in the same flow with him
..and honestly there's so much more.
Life is good not because it's objectively good - if I would think about it I could probably put together a whole list out of the things I DON'T LIKE in my life - but because I choose to focus on things that make me happy. And the more I do that, the happier I become and the more success I attract to my life.
It's so simple.
PS: I'm using more and more gratitudelog.com to express my daily gratitude - really simple, but powerful tool. Find me there and let's get connected
Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. -- James Thurber
My life in slow motion, let's wind it back.
It's 1 AM in the night of Kuala Lumpur. A girl and a guy are walking on the street, absorbed in a conversation to catch a taxi to a birthday party. Yes, it's me and Andries, a wonderful person who has become a good friend of mine, visiting me in KL. We're walking and talking - and suddenly surrounded by around 8 guys on motorbikes.
This is when the slow motion gets switched on.
They're aggressive and in a rush to take everything we have. We don't have much - a mobile, an iPod, a few hundred ringgits, keys to my house, a lipstick (wonder what they did with that?:). Being part of this scene seems a bit unreal - Andries on the ground, taser flashing in the night (and you hope they don't hurt your friend), me pushed around, someone shouting: "Shut up!" (did I say anything? Slow motion...).
And then it's over.
You hear the cars driving on the main street again, see the houses nearby and life gets back in the rhytm as you know it. A hug from a friend connects that moment with gratitude and connection.
So today it's a lucky girl writing here. Seeing the dark side of life certainly makes you value more the bright side. The best thing to take with us are the lessons, so here you have mine from a negative situation out of your control:
1. Forgive. There's always two (or more) sides of the story, don't get stuck with yours. Seeing the other person might sometimes take a bit, but in the end of the day forgiving is the only way to love and healing. I guess these kids had their reasons for ending up with this life style, I just don't know the story and was a very random episode in theirs.
2. Forget. No negative energy from other people should bitter us nor make fearful. It just doesn't make sense to double the harm by becoming a more negative person yourself. In the end - it's nothing personal and it's not your problem either. If you can't do anything about it - stop worrying about it and move on.
3. Prepare. Don't lose the lesson. Make sure the next difficulty that crosses your way meets a better prepared you. I start from asking how to avoid the same situation in the future - using taxi to move around after dark seems like a nice idea.
4. Love your people.I think this is the most important lesson. It's a thought from mother Teresa that Andries shared with me when we sorted the things out in a conversation. Loving the world starts from loving the people close to you. If you don't love your family first, then how can you love your employees, community, society, the world? Mother Teresa called it the Hierarchy of Love - love flows from close, healthy relationsships and heals the world. So I don't intend to change the life of all the bittered, unhappy youngsters attacking people on streets - but make sure I have enough love for My People first.
I'm fully grateful for getting to know different sides of life and growing in the process. We should never judge, but learn to understand. We should never build negative energy in ourselves. And we definitely should have as much fun as we can - life's such a wonderful thing, every day's a gift.
You probably already know how important it is to surround yourself with positive people. "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."
So true. Going even further - show me what you're surrounding yourself with and it becomes quite obvious what you're becoming.
2 years ago I spent 10 days in a meditation camp in Germany, spiraling into my inner world, cut off from all communication with the world and other people. While wondering around in the depth of my mind, I started to notice there's a lot of crap that I've collected throughout my life.
Everything that you see, hear, think, smell, touch and even sense leaves a trace. All the songs you've ever listened in your life are there, all the movies, conversations, sights - everything is stored. You think you've forgot, but your subconscious mind keeps feeding you with information you thought doesn't even exist.
This discovery made me realize that it's absolutely vitalto carefullychoose your experiences and feed yourself with high quality information.
One of the first places to start could be your own playlist. You might have not even noticed, but many pop-songs are inserting into your mind most pessimistic and pathetic messages, full of self-pity.
There are so many songs about broken hearts, waiting for someone to come and save the day, passive lingering, misguiding concepts of love, self hatred, lost hopes, loneliness. Why to listen these negative messages? Yeah, there are bound to be some setbacks in life, so what? We're capable for so much more and getting stuck in a moment (as U2 sings) should not be stressed - move on, you can.
So the idea of the day - every time you encounter a pessimistic song in your playlist, delete it. Seriously - you don't need it. Why, to feel even worse? Aah, that sweet self pity again - move on, you can.
Want to share with you a playlist with some of my favorite boost-up songs. Surely there are lot more, would be grateful if you'd share in comments, always looking for inspiration. Thanks a lot:)
3. Right Said Fred - Stand Up(this song helped me to get ready before Local Committee President elections in AIESEC Tartu, still works in certain moments it's my you-can-do-anything mantra)
5. Coldplay - Everythings Not Lost(this song helped me through some tough times in life - "When I counted up my demons, Saw there was one for every day, With the good ones on my shoulders, I drove the other ones away")
10. Mike Oldfield - To Be Free 11. Aplhaville - Dangerous Places (original song is not in YouTube, but the song has amazing lyrics - "But you got ambition, you got the face, come on, let's go to a dangerous place, come on - let's go, come on - let's go, come on...")
Sometimes I hate that word. I want to skip it, erase it, make it disappear.
What I actually want to do is to replace the content of that word, to bring back it's real meaning, which would be L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G.
It's not that I don't like education, but it's that I don't like the system. The School House - as it is today - almost makes me want to do something physical, squeeze a lemon until not a single drop of juice comes out.
That's how I feel when I hear new stories about most creative creatures entering the school house - and coming out as scared and average individuals with not much of a contact with their real self. And even in less drastic cases - it's just painful to see the process of re-building ourselves after coming out of the system.
Makes me wonder - what if I had just skipped the E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N and went straight to the L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G when I was 7?
Now here's a few tough questions to chew.
Can we actually reform the current education system? What if it's just wrong from its very core and the logic what current schools are based on is not working?
Truth is that majority of schools - as they are today - don't teach children to learn. Majority of schools - as they are today - don't prepare kids for the actual life. Majority of schools as they are today make kids dependent and lose their natural talents.
Reforms - not good enough, not quick enough
Now what I've noticed is that many people know that. Yes, there are problems, yes, the system should be more child centered, yes, we must take a more personal approach.
Good, but not good enough.
Yes, there are education reforms prepared and delivered in almost every country. But what they mean by all this reforming is just changing a few elements in the existing system - in good case adding more life skills classes, integrating development talks into the curriculum, educating teachers to offer better support for their individual students, worse cases just updating biology curriculum and debating if religion should be taught in school or not.
Not bad, but notice one thing? Most of these reforms concern everything external to the child, child STILL has absolutely no control over his own life. These help attempts can actually make children more dependent, so it's just a new way of still doing a wrong thing.
Until the whole logic of approaching to schools and education will be different - and it will - then these attempts don't make much of a sense (ok, I admit - not even trying would be even a greater loss for children learning in schools today, but still it's not the solution).
But you know what's almost unbearably painful - we are too slow. We need to speed up - because we're not only talking about tremendous amount of lost human potential, we're talking about the whole world's future.
Everything starts with the education system. Are the future generations prepared to live in the complicated world we're creating every day? Are they ready to make responsible decisions? Are they mature and self aware enough to connect with each other?
Alternative scenarios?
Around half a year ago I discovered myself playing around with a thought that has become my subconscious lighthouse ever since.
What if schools would not exist at all, how would children learn then?
Some of my friends found that a bit too radical to even consider.
I don't think so. Looking alternatives in education system doesn't have to start from looking at the current situation. Let's look at the need. And even if we end up still having schools - I bet they would be drastically different from the ones we would have created with a question: what should we change in the current system?
Because really - can you reform the current education system or is the system outdated and should be replaced? If it's outdated, then what's the new system? What's the role of a school house in this system? What's the role of internet and other new communication tools? What skills should kids learn and how should they do that? What's the role of a teacher?
We need to create some answers. And by we I mean we, not them.
PS: This one was written on the inspiration wave after reading a brilliant book "Kindergarten Is Too Late" by Masaru Ibuka
* added later: which is also the name of Richard Branson's new book. Yep, that's how my subconscious mind reminds me about my reading list:)
Where to get the courage to do things you've never done before, but truly desire to? How to know that you're ready?
This is something that I'M NOT asking myself before starting with new things.
Here's why - asking yourself wrong questions can actually drain you out of energy, so you never even get going. The definition of bravery can be very misleading, found one from internet - bravery is fearlessness, feeling no fear (wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn). This assigns doing extraordinary things to heroes and historical figures, because all the rest of us are bound to be afraid every now and then.
Well, I'm more into the Everyday Heroes, here's what I mean by that. When I look around I see lot of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. They have no super-abilities that would excuse others for not following their example.
So please ignore the former definition, this is what defines courage for me: acting despite of fear.
Yesterday ran into one of these Everyday Heroes, will tell his story to illustrate how it works.
Jose, a former leader of AIESEC Spain was on an internship in a Malaysian company. However after a while he felt that he's not really moving anywhere with his job - his ideas were rejected, salary delayed etc. All these bothering details built up a real frustration.
Now imagine this - you're in a foreign country, financially dependent of your monthly payroll, with no previous business experiences - what would you do? Safer way would be to try to meditate yourself out of the frustration every evening and continue coping with the same company.
This is not what Jose did.
I met him yesterday at a pool party here and had a WOW-experience. He had just returned from a trip to one of the paradise islands here to plan the business with 2 of his Spanish friends-business partners. He had quit his job that, well - kinda sucked and is now a selfemployed Spanish entrepreneur in Malaysia. He and his mates discovered a demand for palm oil in Spanish market - and as some of the highest quality palm oil is produced in Malaysia a new business venture was born.
Imagine this - Jose is now meeting with palm oil producers in Malaysia to select the most reliable local producers, Spanish companies are already filing in pre-contracts - even though the new palm-oil company isn't officially registered yet. Exciting stuff - and soon the first shipment of palm oil will sail across the globe.
Easy and brilliant, with no big investment to get it going.
A good friend of mine and a huge inspiration, Kristiina started her own business recently (www.incase.ee). What she told me was : "People are never ready to start their business. So you just have to start."
That's what I call bravery - doing what you desire without having 100% guarantee of the end-result. How could you ever have it, anyway?
This one is for all the everyday heroes acting despite of fear! Be it in business, relationships or anywhere else where we decide to fill our deepest desires - and enjoy the benefits.
PS: My goal is to get rid of the grammar mistakes in my English. I'd appreciate tons if you would correct in comments some of my major f-ups.
