I'm reading currently an amazing book from Robert Cialdini called "Influence". It reveals simple and yet effective techniques how most of the people are influenced every day. One experiment that showed how our self image is influencing our actions (and how it can be used to get your way) made me rethink the importance of the mental pictures we have about ourselves and others.The experiment was conducted among some home-owners in California, who were asked if they could display a 8 cm diameter sign saying: "Be a safe driver". Majority of the home owners agreed to fulfill the small request, which also showed them as responsible citizens. However a few weeks later different volunteers asked the same home owners to install in their front lawns a very large billboard stating: "Drive carefully". Amazing 76% of the homeowners agreed in contradiction of 83% of homeowners in the same neighborhood who refused, but were not asked 2 weeks earlier to display the small sign.
Displaying the small sign had changed the self image the homeowners had about themselves - they now considered themselves as responsible citizens who acted to serve the common good. This image of themselves made them compliant also to a much bigger request that came later.
We act according to what we believe we are.
The same principle is found from Martin Seligman book "Authentic happiness", which he calls "Hold on to your illusions!" One survey revealed that the bigger the discrepancy and inconsistency between what you think of your partners strengths and what your mutual friends think of him/her the happier the relationship. So if you friends find your guy quite an average Joe and you consider him as a delightful mixture of Brad Pitt and Dalai Lama - you are right! Apparently your partner actually starts to change towards the direction you believe him/her to be.
We all have a natural need to act consistently with what we believe about ourselves and others to be.
Knowing this doesn't it make so much sense to review your beliefs about yourself and people around you? If our self image makes us who we are, then what is this picture we have right now? And what would we want it to be?
What you think of others is what they become. What you think of yourself is what you become.
very impressed you read this book. This book is required reading at MindValley and all new hires have to read the book in their first month
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of truth to this article. People become who you expect them to be.
ReplyDeleteBrian Tracy in the Psychology of Success series talks about an experiment conducted at a school in America. At the beginning of the school year, three teachers were invited to see the principal. They were told that as a reward for their good performance, the teachers were assigned three classes of the brightest, hand-picked students. It would be very easy to teach those teenagers, as they were quick learners, they were told. In the end of the school year, as was expected, the class ranked high above the average level of grades in the school. The teachers were invited back, and they were told that in fact, the students were not the brightest, that this had been an experiment and the names were pulled from a hat. "But how can it be that they ranked so high with their grades? It must be that we're such good teachers!" They were told that no, the teachers' names had also been pulled from a hat.
Because the teachers thought themselves to be very good teachers, and because they thought the class to be very good learners, this actually resulted in high grades for the students. Even though the students were average, and the teachers were average!
The power of expectation is truly amazing, and more people should become know about it.
That's a remarkable example you bring! Thanks for sharing!
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