See the beauty all around and in yourself

Yesterday morning I woke up covered with cold sweat. I made a few steps and almost fainted on the floor. It was quite unexpected to lie on the floor at 7AM and think: “Something is wrong with me. I’m not quite sure what, but seems so that not some ordinary sore throat.” Later in the hospital it turned out I had a bad tonsil infection and I had to be operated the same day.

It’s very easy to be happy and energetic in a situation you control. When it comes to your health you might get scared and lose much of your rational thinking. It might seem that you’ve lost everything you’ve learned by this point of your life and you are just defenseless against some powers stronger than you. I’m sure the first minute I wasn’t quite my usual me and if someone would have asked me how I feel, I would have replied with some empty complaining I usually deeply despise.

But when lying there and thinking through my logical next steps, the words of the PR-professor Kaja Tampere with whom I made an interview several months ago came to my head: “Success comes from the abundance of your experiences.”

She told me to experience different kind of things in life, this is the base of success and happiness.

Abundance of your experiences.

What if any kind of situation you ever get in is just a new learning experience? Unknown, yes, but not scary. What is the worst thing that could happen to you? You die? What if even death is just a new experience? I’ve always found comfort from the thought, that I won’t be sad about my unlived life after I’m gone, because I just don’t care then anymore. I better do my best when I’m still here, so I have nothing to be sad of when my time runs out.

These thoughts are again something much easier to think than to do, but aren’t our actions always first determined by our thoughts? If I don’t dream and imagine things bigger than I am right now, how could I ever reach there?

So I decided then not to get scared, after all – this in only a new experience. All the meanings come through our evaluations, life is very simple and natural, there are no judgments in it.

I became curious about the operation, about the general anesthesia, about other patients in the hospital room, even about the pain. I wondered if my relaxed mind will help me to recover quicker and if I will suffer more after the operation when I did the week before it. And I was curious to see if I lose my balance when it gets really painful and uncomfortable, how will I act and how will I overcome it.

I feel thankful for all kind of experiences. Of course I’m not especially looking for bad and painful things, neither do I justify doing purposely something illegal or harmful to yourself or others. But life is as it is and it sends you different kinds of experiences and sometimes the only thing you can choose is your reaction.

I feel as if I’m going from a learning to learning and get stronger in my journey. It very often frees me from anger and leaves me the right to observe the situation and leave a bit wiser. Whenever life offers me an opportunity to get mad, to feel as if I’m losing or as if I’m being judged or someone is unfair – I give my best to see in it a way to learn. Not always do I succeed and sometimes I feel overwhelmed of my emotions, but even in these moments I find the comfort from the thought: “The abundance of your experiences is what really matters.”

So it’s not about my tonsils operation, this is nothing. It’s about the parallel I can take with other situations I might get into. After all - all the feelings are similar, even if the cause is different. And being able to cope with some you are free to move to new, unknown fields or just to be able to act more wisely and bravely in the future.

I named my blog "Keep moving", it was a random key-word that came to my mind then, but it seems to make sense. I guess this is the main thing in life, to keep moving.

And in the end I want to share a song. I found it several days ago from youtube and got inspired to make a supporting ppt for it for AIESEC conference we have this weekend and that I sadly have to miss. I still have to figure out how to share youtube videos in my blog, it doesn't seem to work for me, but here is the link anyway:)