Office Bliss: How Having an Office Can Fuel Success at Work

They say that start ups shouldn't invest into having their own office. There's a popular myth about garages - if you listen to the stories you would think that every huge success started from someones garage.

Well, I've now worked from home (read: cafeterias and other improvised working spaces) for about 4 months I can say something I never believed I would say - I LOVE working from the OFFICE!

We just rented a new space and everyone in the team was so eager to move in that we signed the contract even before having any furniture. I'm now sitting on the office floor on a bunch of pillows and am getting double of the things done when I did when working from my living room couch.

Here's why I LOVE having an office:

• It gives the team a space to work together - you don't have to send out an e-mail for every single question you have, you can simply turn to your neighbor and ask.
• It saves money. They say that having an office is a luxury, I'd say that it's an investment. I spent more money on buying coffee and snacks in all the temporary working spaces I worked, instead I should have paid it for the office space and have a proper lunch every day.
• It puts you in the mindset of work. You go to your kitchen to eat, to your bedroom to sleep (well, most of the times), your living room to chill out - so you're in a different mindset. Office is for working and it's easy for the brain to switch to the right mode.
• As a result - you get more things done. And that's what it's all about.

That mostly applies when you're working in a team who's equally involved in the project.

These 4 months without a shared space cost us a lot more in lost productivity and poor communication than it would have cost on renting an office. I'm all for flexibility and love to have my work in my laptop, but I must say - I LOVE working from an office.

Who's making up your agenda?

A couple of months ago I accepted the invitation to go to Tartu, 2,5 hours ride away from Tallinn. The reason was quite tempting - the University 5 years reunion, a chance to meet up with the guys that we once shared the drinks, notes and compendiums together.

An hour before I was about to take off to Tartu I found myself thinking: "How come that I have time for partying and hanging out with friends, but I don't have time to work on my life vision and review what's REALLY going on underneath?"

Somehow it felt that I have to go to Tartu, that this evening is already planned and that there is no other option.

How often we make our decision unconsciously, without really thinking about what we really want and what's the hidden cost of this decision.

It's like someone else is making our agenda and we just go with the flow.

"Do you want to hang out tonight?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

And your Monday night is booked.

It almost feels that you had no choice in the matter, that you just did what was the right thing to do.

It's a very subtle process, it's not obvious that someone else creates your agenda.

It's you who's in charge. You're the one who makes the decisions where and how you spend your time. I love hanging out with my friends and I continue to do so, but if 40% of your time goes on your family, 40% on your business and 20% on your social life then it's wise to make some serious decisions.

And there's really a very simple cure - listen what's really going on inside of you and what are your real needs.

In reality it's YOU who's making the decisions.

So I decided that what I really want is not to go to the reunion and take time for myself. Feeling a little guilty I told to my supportive man that I'm going to take the night off to be by myself (how funny that it's easier to ask for a "permission" to go to a uni reunion than to simply take a break from the family:)?

So I was sitting in Pirita beach, looking at the sunset and letting go of every identity that I have recently taken. I'm not a mother. I'm not a partner. I'm not an entrepreneur.

What I really am deep down is an amazing simplicity, pure clarity, just BEING. I really don't have to be anyone, I don't have to do anything, I already am all these things that I need to be. And some part of me always knows what's the right action to take, where should be my focus and how I should be spending my time.

It's just about taking the time to listen, uninterrupted.

Mother's confession: I'd rather not send my son to school at all

I'm tired on this school system. In fact - after Maru's first year in school - a year that started with such hopes and celebration - I'm at a point where I feel great resentment to send him there for another year.

I wish that in the summer of 2012 a wonderful school would magically appear, which recognizes the absolutely amazing potential that every human being has. A school where I could send my child without being afraid that he'll be turned into a zombie. 

As it's highly unlikely that such miracle would happen - as it feels that nothing, absolutely NOTHING has fundamentally changed in the school system since I walked away from there 10 years ago - the minimum I can do is to share my opinion (and thank god that my son is not reading my blog, as I'm doing a hard labor every day trying to give him reasons why it's important for him to put up with this s''''t that they call "educating").

Every child is born with an amazing potential

I gave birth to this beautiful boy 8 years ago. If you've ever seen a newborn baby you probably remember one thing very clearly - their eyes are full of wisdom. When you expect to see a helpless, mindless creature, you find an "alien" who seems to possess a godly intelligence and gives you a look of a king, who owns the world and the universe.

This is PURE POTENTIAL. And every caring parent who has ever seen this look in a baby's eyes is instantly sent off on a mission to do whatever is in their power to help this human to achieve as much from his potential as possible.

Then - countless amount of love and care, also countless number mistakes and errors later - my baby is 8 and is about to finish his first year in school. And we're back talking about his pure potential - but in a very different key.

Schools are focusing on weaknesses

I find myself discussing with Maru's teachers his WEAKNESSES - different situations in school where he didn't excel, where he misbehaved, where he didn't measure up to different standards. And when asked about Maru's strengths I hear an answer that makes me sick to my stomach: "He's a bright kid, he has a lot of potential."

It's not the first time I hear this good-sounding phrase, which is a clever way to say: "I haven't noticed any good sides in your son, I was so captured by recording and fixing his shortcomings." In a development-talk a few years ago in Maru's kindergarten I got the same phrase: "Well, he has a lot of potential."

Seriously? Every child is a born genius and I've witnessed this pure potential being turned into an amazing human being. I have no reason to doubt in my child potential unless he'd be born as a complete medical idiot.

As fortunately he wasn't, then I'm rightfully asking - what is the school doing today about this potential besides disciplining, warning, talking and homeworking it into a comfortable "box"?

Strong average schools are not enough

Maru's school is not bad, in fact - it's strong average. His teacher is not bad, she's strong average. Could be better, could be worse, can't complain.

What sucks is the system. The system that puts the child as the LAST and focuses on creating listen-carefully-and-follow-all-the-rules type of people.

Am I happy with this?

NO.

In fact - it makes me feel completely unsafe to send my child back to school. Unsafe because the world has changed and doesn't need the follow-all-the-rules type of people.

We need entrepreneurs. Connectors. Networkers. Creators. People with IDENTITY to be able to manage the HUGE amount of information we're dealing here every day.

It feels that schools are robbing children from this future.

There are better tools available

Now if you think that I'm too critical and radical then you're probably right.

Does this mean I should accept the system as it is? You bet no.

I know for fact there are better tools available. There are better and more flexible systems available that actually encourage learning.

It just feels that everyones too busy doing what has always been done, just keeping the system going so that there's no time for innovation. And it feels that the ones who once suffered in the same system have now grown into busy adults who have forgot to care (and forgot how much time they spent in various forms of rehap in healing the wounds that the system created).

I've come to the point where I'm open to every possible alternative.

PS: All the teachers who are EDUCATING children in the noblest sense of this word and who have managed to do so despite the school system - oh I wish you would all join under one roof, being led by an enlightened headmaster and showered by blessings by the lucky parents who's children can develop under your guidance. You're my heroes!

Even an Adventurer Needs Some Stability

Stability. I've had 1000 reasons to avoid this for years and there clearly hasn't been much in my life. My word is and has been "adventure" -- and I've had no interest, no time, not even a slightest intention in something as boring, fixed and solid as "stability".

It's the first time in my life when I actually welcome stability and have 1000 reasons to think it's a great idea to do that - without being afraid that I would eventually become one of those empty-eyed ignorants who have no hopes, no dreams and no interest in anything.

See - if you approach life as a field of opportunities and yourself as the creator of your life experience, then the word "stability" sounds almost as if you simply got stuck in some phase of your life and can't move on anymore. In the mind of people like me....

Stability = Stagnation.

Or is it? Maybe, just maybe I - and all the other driven and motivated souls, always after something, but  more happy with the search, than the finding - have been getting it wrong all the time.

Is it really true that you have to choose between variety and certainty? Or could you actually have both?

Well, there's something to learn from my life so far. My pattern has been avoiding all sorts of "settling down-s". I've tried to settle, but haven't been too successful in that. I've been in various career paths, relationships, countries, networks and groups of people - and it's been more like passing through a house, checking out different rooms, opening and closing doors, but not with the intention of buying it. I've enjoyed the journey, but rarely the destination and my mind has always been wondering about the "next big thing"...

Constant change has become so usual for me that I feel more comfortable with the unknown than the known. I've been drawn by the variety, the thrill of new experiences and exploring of the mystery of the things that I still don't know. Though an excellent asset for an entrepreneur, it's clearly an unbalanced approach to life as a whole.

If this sounds similar then you might be as blind about yourself as I was.

I never realized up until recently how my belief that stability = boredom and that you can't have both an adventure and stability was negatively affecting my life. After one meditation session I suddenly started to see that I've been opening chapters, but haven't been so keen in closing them. Lot of undefined relationships. Lot of projects in different areas. Lot of YES-s, but not enough NO-s. Lot of space in my life FILLED UP with stuff that really has no meaning or isn't serving my best interests.

It's funny when you have such a blind spot about yourself, that probably everyone else would be able to pick up about you quite fast, but you're completely unaware of.

There's nothing wrong about being adventurous - in fact the courage to explore the unknown will be my strength as an entrepreneur and serve me in anything I'll do in the future - but you gotta have something to hold on to in order to build something solid. If you constantly let your treasures slip away - relationships that actually matter, business ideas that will make a difference, family, values etc - you're simply going around in circles, unaware that you've actually already found what you're looking for.

The paradox is that you can have - stability and variety. One doesn't rule out the other (duh!).

Tony Robbins, one of my favorite teachers, is saying that every human has 6 basic needs and that we all are constantly filling these 6 needs in order to be happy. Some ways are serving us and the other ways are affecting us negatively, so the goal is to fill all your 6 needs in a way that serve you. Among the 6 needs are those two seemingly opposing needs: a need for certainty and a need for variety - and Robbins says that we all need both to be happy - and we CAN HAVE both.

I've realized that we all need our foundation, something to hold on to, something we can rely on and be sure that this will be there even if everything else crumbles apart. We all need a core to be strong.

I've realized that most of the men and women of strength and accomplishments have such a strong internal belief structure that doesn't change and keeps them going when external conditions get toughest.

Yes, there might be a 1000 truths in this world, yes, CHANGE might the the only certain thing and yes, nobody might be right and everybody might be right - but just make up your mind what do YOU want! Who the heck cares that everybody have a different truth, all you need is to pick yours and stick to it.

What wonderful lessons I still have to learn! So guys and girls, I'm gonna create some stability in my life.  Not sure yet in which form it will come, but the intention has been set, so I'm only welcoming the consequence of this intention in 2011:)

PS: Those who wonder - the book is still baking! The end of 2010 was much more about building the business than writing a book - and maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist as well:) It still takes courage for me to be authentic in this book, so bare with me, your blessings have all been counted and I will write this book in 2011. 

PPS: I've moved to Costa Rica with Maru for 2 months, living 10min from the Pacific beach - and it feels so funny to write about stability in these circumstances:) But as said - I think stability is more your internal condition, so I don't see controversy in my intentions and actions.

Top 7 unique gifts for your modern friends

I was recently invited to a wedding. And though the couple said they only want us, guests as presents, it still raised a question - what could be a unique present for someone who has it all already?

I know that when I was growing up a good present was wrapped into a nice box and contained SOME STUFF. And usually everyone was happy, because STUFF used to be The Thing that made people happy.

Not sure if you have noticed, but material things don't have a similar effect on many of us anymore (well, except new Apple widgets, of course:). We have enough - and too much - stuff already - and we don't want to "adopt" another toaster or espresso machine into our lifestyle.

What many of us really want is a sense of contribution, belonging, happiness, a stress-free lifestyle and many other things that you can't really fit in a box.

So what are the alternatives if we want to make someone feel really, really, really happy by making them a present? Besides treating our friends in an amazing, loving, caring way every day, of course:)

Well, in case your friends have also reached the modern era where STUFF doesn't excite them as much as it used to, consider this - a large part of the world is still living in quite a different era. Many people are in a constant need for STUFF - and quite often not for bare comfort or entertainment, but for survival.

And the good news is that thanks to internet it's easier than ever to make a real contribution and get a sense of meaning.

I ended up buying a goat to the couple through an Estonian NGO Mondo promoting ethical gifts (highly recommended for Estonians) - the goat will be actually delivered to a group of widowers in one of the remote villages in Ghana.

There are a lot of reliable organizations that co-ordinate the work with partners in Africa, Asia or even in well-developed Europe to bring relief to various issues and that also make a wonderful gift to someone who doesn't want more stuff.

So next time when choosing a gift to your friend consider this selection of a several reliable opportunities for quite unique gifts.

MY TOP 7 UNIQUE GIFTS

1. Adopt an animal in danger of extinction

2. Pay for doctor's monthly salary in Dominican Republic
...or vital stuff for any other country around the world through Christian Aid

3. Buy a goat for Sudanese or Bangladeshi family

4. Make a lifechanging mini-loan to a start-up entrepreneur through KIVA

5. Microfinance female entrepreneurs through buying their craft

6. Adopt an acre of rain forest

7. Educate a child in Africa

Any other cool ideas on how to use your monthly give-back budget?

6 Reasons To Love A Little More Each Day

This posting is for all the dedicated lovers of life and for all the enjoyers of everyday casual happiness (and for everyone who lose track every now and then, as the majority of us, the life-lovers-clan:). I'm writing in hope that this tribe keeps growing, especially here, in the dark North, where we desperately need more inner light to compensate the discrimination from the Sun.

Here's some statistics to get the conversation going...

I want love - 3,350,000

I want to love - 2,240,000

How to love  - 1,830,000

These numbers represent the searches on Google for these terms...every month. And this is only for these specific phrases - if you count all the related searches, eg "I want your love", "how to win love" together, you get easily tens of millions of desperate requests for love every month.

Yeah, to the search engine... Hoping to get some good answers. Or to be honest - hoping to get more love in their lives (all you Real World Life Lovers - doesn't that give a boost of motivation to show some love to yourself and your friends?:)

But why is there this huge lack of love that makes people turn to Google for sorting their lives out? Well, not sure about the reasons, but for sure I'd love to see more Real Life loving going on and less searches happening in internet...

Here's the thing. Love is available for free and only grows the more you express it. Yet there are so many lonely people, hiding behind masks of politeness, hardly faking it till the next lonely moment with themselves.

Well, I believe there's no better way to get more love than to love right now. OK, some people doubt if the person they're together with is the right person for them. So they hold back the feelings because they don't want to get hurt. Keep it cool, just in case, cause you never know. But why not to love even if you don't get married and have 10 children together? Why not to savor the moment, to get the full taste out of it and if needed, leave with peace in mind?

You can't run out of love by loving. Really -- you can just get better. So why not to love? Yeah, right now, whoever it is around you.

A friend of mine recently wrote me in an e-mail: "You are very important and dear person to me." Nope, he wasn't hitting on me, he's in a happy, loving relationship with his girlfriend or 3-years. He was just sharing his love - something I absolutely adore!

Why not to share the love with everyone, not keep it exclusively to your most, most, most intimate relationships?

Loving can't hurt, you can love even the people you don't get married with (right? Right!:).

Some people jump into relationships because they are afraid of the lack of love. Well, love isn't something reserved only for the most intimate relationships in your life. It's a decision, conscious choice of choosing to love life, yourself, the moments, the opportunities. And if someone comes along who fits in the picture -- you naturally expand and include that person.

So how do people become great lovers? Well, I've seen many people who study the theory of seduction and practice it diligently. I must admit I'm myself a curious reader of various seduction books and mailing lists, for the fun and for the better understanding of the tricks used on me:)

But really - you don't have to study anything to start loving. It's something we all know naturally - and the greatest lovers, I believe, are the ones who are the best connected with themselves. Cause after all - if love is natural, then not loving is unnatural and means you're not quite being yourself. So one baby step at a time - you learn to express your positive feelings towards people, world and yourself.

Now I admit - this posting is long and not really following the blogging rules. So to compensate that, here's a little list to create an illusion if Godly Structure. Here goes:

6 Reasons To Love A Little More Each Day

1. It gives your life a meaning - Victor Frankl, the jewish psychiatrist who survived Holocaust, says there are 3 ways to find meaning in your life: by doing a deed, experiencing a value and by suffering (in case no other option is available). The first ones are pretty much the core of loving. Through loving others you actually get more meaning - so in the end of the day it's win-win-win for everyone;)

2. Love, unlike sex, is not exclusive (guess it's an open subject to discuss, but I go with my non-cheating relationship model in this blog:). You don't have to sleep with another person to love them. You don't even have to flirt with them. Nope, you can just - love. Because it feels just so good and clearly there are so many people who need the feeling of being love (I mean -- everyone:).

3. It attracts more good things - loving helps you to notice all the things you can be grateful for in your life - and gratitude is the basis of growth. Once you appreciate the gifts in your life, you can attract more.


4. Everyone can do it -- loving is only a choice. You can be broke, ugly, sleepy, single and someone can yell at you, but you can still go to this place in your heart that's for love. And from this place you can love anyone.

5. You can choose it instantly - once I met a guy who told me at the first meeting that he wants to be a special person in my life. Well, he is till today - not sure if he would be if he had waited until he really "gets to know me". And leaving aside the mystery that happens between girls and guys - you can instantly switch from neutral state of mind into this loving place by choosing gratitude and blessings. Corny? Maybe, but it works:)

6. There are thousands of ways to do it - expressing your love is such a creative thing. You can choose simply sending positive thoughts towards someone or to cook a dinner for your mom. Gary Chapman, the author of "The Five Love Languages" describes 5 common patterns how people express love: through words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch. You can expands these patterns endlessly and have tons of fun doing it.

Yeah, I like it too:)

How to overcome low self esteem?

I know a girl. She's one of these stunners that make the other girls jealous - glowing white skin, sparks in her eyes and dimples in both corners of her beautiful smile.

In addition of being blessed with great looks she's also extraordinary smart, an A-student, holding gold awards from several national science competitions.

She has all to be successful - have an outstanding career, great husband and life filled with love. Yet...

...she's been financially struggling to get by for years now, even more now as she just left a dis-satisfying job where her salary hadn't improved for several years. As for the relationships - her boyfriends not only look average and have below average jobs, but also give her average, sometimes even bad treatment. She's never quite fulfilled, yet whenever she ends a relationship, she's soon with a new guy who looks and acts almost as the copy of the previous dude.

And she's only many of the examples where people's potential is so much higher than the life they are living. What's going on here?

As many others she's struggling with low self esteem. She just can't see herself being worth more than she's getting.

Suggesting to this girl to set a goal to get more money and a more fulfilling relationship wouldn't help....why?

Because she doesn't believe nor see herself getting this, she believes that this reality is the only option available for her.

This invisible internal self image counts much more in being successful than the external looks that everybody else sees. And even though it's invisible, you can see other peoples inner self by looking at the results they have created in their life.

As Stephen Covey says in his inspiring book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People":

"All things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you've thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind."

One of my favorite spiritual teachers Abraham Hicks said this:

"Your choices of action may be limited--but your choices of thought are not."

Everything that we see externally is only a reflection of what we internally think is possible.

So start from the inner work. Like loving yourself. Respecting yourself as you are. Treating yourself kindly. Being grateful for what you've got. Also found a great video on the topic from Hicks, see below.

Abraham Hicks on

Overcoming Low Self Esteem

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that low self esteem is theprimary barrier preventing most people from succeeding, moving forward, getting ahead and actualizing their true potential.
Quite a statement but I believe it's true. Everyone seems to have it in at least some aspect of their lives.

Following is a video from an Abraham Hicks workshop in which a participant is having a dialog with Abraham Hicks. Abraham addresses the issue starting at about 3:26 and teaches us how to build self esteem.

Continue reading here >>

Reviewing Your Values: Have You Unknowingly Destroyed Your Family?

In the world of opportunities, careers, friends, celebrities, parties, money, sex, internet, traveling and personal growth -- where does the family fit in?

Well, the truth is that in most of the Western countries, including my own -- it really doesn't. For many people and even for most of my friends -- family comes as one of the last. OK, a girlfriend or a boyfriend might take the first position for a while, but overall -- going out with friends comes before a family dinner, getting a good career comes before having a baby, having fun comes before building a lifelong partnership.

Well, the key to the happiness truly lies inside, so pleasing your family is not the key to liberation. Yet life is all about balance -- I sense that our values are dangerously out of balance when it comes to family. Instead of seeing this as an asset and find a healthy relationship with it, we rather tend to isolate us from the family and run away fast when problems or demands arise.

How Are You Feeling Today? No, I Mean -- HOW Are You Feeling Today? Seriously...

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know. I feel good."

Ah, I hear it much too often. Till recently I was saying this much too often. When it comes to feelings most of us Northern people use a rather simplistic approach. We tend to have two categories: GOOD and BAD. The more advanced ones of us add perhaps ANGER, FRUSTRATION and BOREDOM, the ones in love add LOVE, which becomes GOOD a few years down the road into the stable relationship...

Perhaps too simplistic from my side, but there are thoughts to consider.

Got me thinking again today when I was watching a TV-show where a sweet elderly woman was trying to explain how she felt when she found out that her beloved family member could have been killed in the earthquake at Haiti. You could see from her eyes the intensity of her feelings: the fear, concern, desperation, love, hope and guilt all mixed together. Yet she had only a few words to express her inner world: worried and hopeful.

She just didn't have words to describe what she felt.

Getting Naked: Would You Become Less to Become More?

You know the saying "Being a big fish in a small pond"? I do hope you are feeling like a big fish in your life, because we all are meant to be big fishes. I'm a HUGE WHALE for my son and hopefully a big fish for my family. I do enjoy a big fish syndrome in some other areas of my life as well.

But here's the thing -- you shouldn't feel like a big fish in all the areas of your life. That just shows that your pond has started to limit you and it's getting critical to raise your standards or wave goodbye to a fulfilled life.

It might be a good time to see if your perception of yourself is really honest or is it just reflecting the limiting expectations that "your pond" is setting to you.

Before leaving to Malaysia I was enjoying a rather comfortable life in Estonia, had a rather strong self-image and even though I was challenging my comfort-zone regularly it never got to a critical point where my self-image would have got seriously challenged.

Happiness Guide for 2010

I want to start by thanking everyone I have connected through this blog! Thanks for showing up in my life and adding your unique part in the story, your positive energy and feedback have been a blessing.

A famous psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the author of the bestseller "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" (a great book, definitely recommend to read) says that the quality of your life is directly connected with the information we allow to enter into our conscious mind. Simply -- truly happy and fulfilled people have an ability to focus on the empowering information, things that strengthen their self image and build their confidence.

A year is gone and whatever you made happen in 2009, good or bad -- make it part of your strong and beautiful self image. All the events are neutral, what makes it meaningful is your evaluation. Csíkszentmihályi says that in order to become an truly fulfilled person you need to learn how to live in a flow. And a way to get there is to choose your own experience.

Maybe this exercise gives some inspiration. I just went through my personal evaluation of 2009, which I want to share with you. I wrote down all the wins from last year that first came to my mind and added in more details what I gained from these wins. Robin Sharma (thanks Aika for the recommendation!) also recommends to write down the things that you could have improved to get a clear picture on how you showed up last year.

Enjoy:)

My Wins in 2009

What's Your Most Burning Question as a Leader?

Hi guys,

I'm designing a leadership conference for Estonian leaders and surprise -- I want to experiment with some innovative learning techniques and create a one-of-a-kind-experience for everyone.

I also want to learn further about learning design and invite you to join me. I already have insights from some of the innovative minds that I will share with you later, but for now I'd invite you to jump in with a small contribution.

The rules to participate are simple:

1. Take 1 minute to reflect and answer this question: what's right now your most burning question as a leader?

2. Drop your answer in the comments below

3. To receive a special award (read below) also leave your e-mail address

So here's the question again:

What's right now your most burning question as a leader?

I have too much stuff -- want some?

Christmas is great, I just spent one of the most wonderful week of the year with my family. Conversations, table games, great food and...stuff. I mean, literally -- stuff. New things, gifts, presents, too much food.

I think we have too much already.

I used to live in a very minimalist apartment in Kuala Lumpur - a coach and a table in the living room, a bed, a cupboard and a chest of drawers in the bedroom and some stuff in Maru's room (I even hid the toys in the boxes to not get distracted by them).

The reason wasn't that I'm such a minimalist person, it's was simply because it was a temporary home and I only invested into buying a carpet. But the effect was the same - it was a stress-free environment, calming by its lack of THINGS that get you distracted. So even though it was echoing in the living room and my friends used to ask me in Skype if I'm talking from a cave it taught me how less is better.

Now I'm back in Estonia and my parents house is full of things that it has collected over the past 30 years of existence. My room is full of things, the living room is swamped by chairs, coaches and shelves. My favorite place is the bathroom that was just renovated and is still relatively empty (yay!).

Things come to us so easily, but they tend not to leave. They just stick around and we get used to them, not noticing that they consume our energy. It's harder to focus on important things when your surroundings is full of information.

Does This Path Have A Heart

Ode to the Independent, Gorgeous, Amazing, Beautiful SINGLE People

Young, successful, single people, constantly searching for love. From one short or long term relationship to the other, nightclubs, casual flirting in the office, late-night Skype calls and poking, tagging and scrapping in Facebook.

Maybe this game is all they want and there's no search behind it. Only the acceptance that love is spread in the crowd and you need to go from one person to the other to pick up the pieces.

After all -- happiness can't be created by another person, it's already within you.

So all these gorgeous, smart people that could love one another do it from a distance. They meet and make love, may it be through each others beds or just by exchanging positive energy -- a good conversation, hug, a word of appreciation. Love is in the air, they breathe it and live it -- and most of the time go to sleep alone.

From time to time I can't stop wondering if this is the reality that all these gorgeous people wanted to create. Or are they secretly hoping that soon, soon the search comes to an end and their next one-night-stand is really their partner-meant-to-be?

So this is how we make ourselves miserable...

I really love listening to Toni Robbins in the mornings. It's like spending your time with people who inspire you and raise your standards by their example -- while doing your make up in your pajamas in the early morning in your bedroom. Pretty cool:)

This morning "we were talking" about emotions (I have to admit -- it was actually more him, I was just exclaiming "YEAH!" every now and then) -- why we need them and how to use them to move forward. There's something that he said that I wanna share with you, it really made sense to me:

When we don't follow our own rules, we don't live by our own values, by our own life standards, then we certainly give ourselves pain as a way to keep ourselves on track.

Toni Robbins

Aha!

I Always Pay Myself First

There's nothing beyond loving yourself. I mean -- raving about yourself, feeling that your body, mind and spirit is the greatest gift you could ever have.

Nobody can give you anything better than you already have, everything else -- no matter how amazing -- is just an additional value.

No critics can ever make you doubt about your own value. No feedback can ever make you feel bad, because it will never change the underlying truth -- you're already amazing. You have a special place, unique talents, the greatest mission of all -- to be you (assuming it's a work in progress:) and do your magic.

It's a true gift that no-one can ever take away. You don't need anything from the world to know that you're absolutely unique and special. Simply said -- you're absolutely amazing!

Being showered by love from others is wonderful, it's a gift -- and that's exactly what it is. It's a gift, something to receive and be grateful for, it's a huge added value to your life, but you don't need this to be happy. Happiness lies inside.

And knowing this there's a new mantra that I'm using and that has changed quite a bit my routines and decisions.

Guide for Change-the-World-People: Beware, Your Help Might Hurt

I love helping people. It's great -- especially if your help is needed. But more importantly -- especially if the end result was sincerely helpful for someone else.

Because there's also a widespread and dangerously popular way of helping other people and the "world" (whatever that means then), which I call helping-myself-to-feel-a-good-person type of help.

Let me explain (and if that offends someone that's unintentional -- but I would really love to hear the reason why).

Every now and then I run into some wonderful projects that are designed to help someone. It could be some warmhearted white lads flying all the way to Africa to give books to schools or some innovative teachers or parents testing out new learning tools on kids that should foster their healthy self image.

They have a webpage with the mission statement that melts hearts, pictures and sometimes videos of all the action that took place on spot. And I think these people are inspired and deeply touched by their deeds and they feel like having changed the world.

ALARM! Too Many Fake Smiles!

My Most Important Lesson So Far

I used to think that filling our purpose in life is about pursuing a certain purpose -- going after something, finding out something, moving towards something.

Now -- perhaps being under the spell of Tolle -- I realize more and more that all I need is already here. All I have is this moment. No past, no future. There's nothing outside of this moment.

Nothing to pursue. Nothing to be afraid of. No way out of what is. It is here and it is what I have. And it's all I need, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

In a way there's no future, as once I arrive it's already now. So I keep living in this now, which is so narrow and so endless at the same time.

I'm so very grateful to have my now, to fully feel it. I'm still sometimes a prisoner of my memories or my future excitements, I still live somewhere else, not here. But my now keeps expanding, the more I focus on it, the more I feel it.

I Love Women

There's something magical about strong women that makes me deeply admire them. I feel inspired every time I come across of a story of a woman who has lived a remarkable life, made career, raised children and most importantly -- speaks words of wisdom.

While I was making research about the best education innovators in the world I came across a lady named Nel Noddings. Chances are you've never heard of her, but just reading her story and ideas gave me goosebumps.

Being a mom of 10 children and married for more than half a century is an overachievement for most of the women. Being a mom can easily become an excuse to cover up so common fears, doubts and self-criticism that most of the women have. "Oh, I didn't have time for all of this, I was raising my kids." Which much too often actually means: "I never dared to dream more."

And then there are women like Nel Noddings who defy the odds, remain chilled, cheerful and relaxed while bringing up their kids and building a marriage -- and also make an outstanding contribution to the world. This article was my sheer moment of inspiration from today.