Apr 19, 2010

How to overcome low self esteem?

I know a girl. She's one of these stunners that make the other girls jealous - glowing white skin, sparks in her eyes and dimples in both corners of her beautiful smile.

In addition of being blessed with great looks she's also extraordinary smart, an A-student, holding gold awards from several national science competitions.

She has all to be successful - have an outstanding career, great husband and life filled with love. Yet...

...she's been financially struggling to get by for years now, even more now as she just left a dis-satisfying job where her salary hadn't improved for several years. As for the relationships - her boyfriends not only look average and have below average jobs, but also give her average, sometimes even bad treatment. She's never quite fulfilled, yet whenever she ends a relationship, she's soon with a new guy who looks and acts almost as the copy of the previous dude.

And she's only many of the examples where people's potential is so much higher than the life they are living. What's going on here?

As many others she's struggling with low self esteem. She just can't see herself being worth more than she's getting.

Suggesting to this girl to set a goal to get more money and a more fulfilling relationship wouldn't help....why?

Because she doesn't believe nor see herself getting this, she believes that this reality is the only option available for her.

This invisible internal self image counts much more in being successful than the external looks that everybody else sees. And even though it's invisible, you can see other peoples inner self by looking at the results they have created in their life.

As Stephen Covey says in his inspiring book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People":
"All things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you've thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind."
One of my favorite spiritual teachers Abraham Hicks said this:
"Your choices of action may be limited--but your choices of thought are not."
Everything that we see externally is only a reflection of what we internally think is possible.

So start from the inner work. Like loving yourself. Respecting yourself as you are. Treating yourself kindly. Being grateful for what you've got. Also found a great video on the topic from Hicks, see below.

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that low self esteem is theprimary barrier preventing most people from succeeding, moving forward, getting ahead and actualizing their true potential.
Quite a statement but I believe it's true. Everyone seems to have it in at least some aspect of their lives.

Following is a video from an Abraham Hicks workshop in which a participant is having a dialog with Abraham Hicks. Abraham addresses the issue starting at about 3:26 and teaches us how to build self esteem.