May 6, 2009

Why it's so important to choose the right crowd

Have you been in a situation where you feel you just don't fit in the group? The jokes they make, stories they tell -- you just don't "click", have nothing to add?

Sucks, right?

Unless it was that you were sick or tired, you probably experienced some kind of a conflict between your values and the values of the group. 

The thing is that every group is sharing certain values, this is what keeps it together -- and if your values don't match you better do something about it.
  1. Learn to be a better communicator and keep a different opinion without insulting the group members
  2. Change your opinions
  3. Leave and choose a better crowd
  4. (add your own thought)
Just sitting around and feeling bad about yourself doesn't help anybody, least yourself.

The truth is that no matter how strong is your personality and how effective you are in communication -- the group always influences your opinions. Even a slight change in your opinion influences your internal values and the more you have to adjust, the more you become alike the group.

I'm not saying if it's good or bad, just that -- make sure you choose the right crowd. If you haven't recently been drawn to a conversation that inspires you or you haven't felt really INTO the group -- you probably gotta meet some new people.

And a hint about your values -- watch out for the things that you really, really like. Everything that makes you feel good says a great deal about your values. You shouldn't change these values that make you bloom, change only those that make you feel down.

Allright, gotta run on a dinner, talk later!

Another wonderful social experiment

Internet is amazing. I found this video where musicians from all around the world are playing the same song that comes together as one music video.

It's great, I love the idea. It's simple, innovative, meaningful and fun -- that's how executing powerful ideas should be. Not hard work, but a fun journey.

This video is actually part of an award-winning documentary "Playing For Change: Peace Through Music". Check out the whole story here.

May 4, 2009

What I dislike about church

Christian girl is back in church.

On our trip to Penang island I visited Malaysian biggest temple. Beautiful place, I love the atmosphere in churches and other religious places. They've gathered lot of good energy and hope, you can just feel it.

Though enjoying the vibe and the special connection with myself I did realize that institutionalized religion has left some unwanted influences in my brain. You see -- church wires you up in a certain way and you can trace the subconscious influences -- not always wanted and beneficial -- even years after moving on.

I was a Christian girl -- went to church half of my life, was raised in christian traditions, learned to follow and fight for values that I took from my church.

It took me years to rebuild my core values once I realized that church was not really holy nor working for my best interests. And now, while working in Malaysia, traveling around, building a new social network and being close to my learning edge I'm re-estimating with my core value system once again.

And I've discovered some belief systems coming straight from church -- which beg to be changed -- if I'm serious about becoming the person I was born being.

This is what church does to your brain.

1) it makes you believe the truth is black and white
2) it makes you not to question
3) it makes you to believe there's always a higher authority who already knows
4) that there are rules and you have to follow these rules
5) it makes you rely on others

I'm not against religion, really. I think it makes sense and has a lot of universal truths in it.

It's just the church, the institutionalized religion that I find dangerous for unprepared minds.

It's the hypocrisy together with the denial of true human potential that makes me dislike institutionalized religion. It leaves traces in your brain that you need to consciously remove to be successful in this world and to be fully connected with your natural being.

And I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with this posting. I know a lot of good people in church who have managed to maintain the purity of their practice. Yet majority of them are just followers, brains switched off and words far away from deeds.

I'm glad there's hope, though -- we can change if the need is burning enough for us.

So this one is for going through necessary transformations.