For me it was heartbreaking. I’m just writing an article about relations between parents and teenagers and the most important thing I’ve picked up is simple – listen to each other.
Why is it so hard to hear a child? Just imagine yourself screaming: „I don’t want!“ and nobody caring why, instead just blaming you for complaining until you stop resisting.
As if parents have a weird anxiety that if they don’t force their children to behave according to certain standards their children will fail as acceptable citizens.
Anxiety confused with love. Doing what is best for you, never thinking why. Following standards even if you don’t like it, but because you started to believe at some point of time that this is how it must be.
What standards anyway? Those standards vary from family to family – if you should always take an umbrella with you when it’s raining, if using public transportation is good or bad, if you should eat everything on your plate, if going out without a bro is sluttish or not, if smiling without a reason is weird or a must-do. Those are not universal laws, they are merely actions that are not right or wrong, but vary from one culture, tradition, habit, belief etc to another. But as people are different, they should have the freedom to choose a way that suits most to their unique character.
Forcing those actions in the name of „universal and right“ creates an illusion that there are no truths. I guess there are not, if you never hear your gut feeling and have learned to ignore the tiny sensations that always give away if you are acting according to it or not.
For me truth is not an action, instead it's bunch of principles, repeating themselves in all the religions, philosophies, people authentic stories and lessons about life, thinkers discoveries, even some help-yourself handbooks. So it can have many faces, but the source is the same.
In this light it’s heartbreaking to see the effort that goes in teaching the right way instead of guiding how to find your way. I guess a child knows better what face does her truth have, unfortunately it gets lost quickly if you are not heard.
Imagine if you could just be natural and speak from the heart. What would you say? What would you do?